


let it out and let it in

by mishackles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and mary have a chat, Gen, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:58:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8088109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishackles/pseuds/mishackles
Summary: Castiel is surprised by Mary Winchester.  She’s not at all what he expected. To be fair, he never really expected to meet her. He really never expected to be sitting at the bunker’s kitchen tabel with her.





	

Castiel is surprised by Mary Winchester. She’s not at all what he expected. To be fair, he never really expected to meet her. He really never expected to be sitting at the bunker’s kitchen tabel with her. 

Dean had told Cas about her of course, but only the distant memories of a four-year old. And what four-year-old didn’t idolize their mother? Yes, she was kind and nurturing, as he had told him, especially to her boys, but she was also fierce and lethal. She loved deeply, but you had to earn that loyalty—very similar to another hunter Castiel knew.

Mary reminds Cas a lot of Dean actually. She’s loyal and willing to risk everything to help others, especially family. There’s a deep underlying hope inside her that all this is worth it in the end. But there’s also a sadness there. Hunting isn’t what she wanted, never has been, but she feels the pressure to help people. If she won’t, who will? The weight of the job are almost too much, but she’s good at it. Which frightens her sometimes. It strange, Cas thinks, seeing these traits he has noticed in Dean for years reflected in his mother. From their source, he supposes. 

Mary is watching him over the top of her mug, contemplating. Castiel isn’t really sure what to do under her gaze, and it makes him squirm a little. 

“How long have you been around?” She asks him eventually. She had asked lightly but he knows she’s still trying to figure him out. 

“About 8 years,” Cas replies. She raises her eyebrows and blows a long breath out. “I assume Dean told you the circumstances in which we met.”

Mary laughed bitterly, “He said you pulled him out of hell.” She spits the last word like it taste sour in her mouth. “Hell!” She sighs softly. “I never,” she pauses a moment, collecting herself, “I never wanted this. For them—Dean and Sam. They’re my boys, my babies.”

“If I could change the past I would,” Cas says in a rush. “I would give anything to spare them of this burden.”

Mary gives him a slight smile, “Thank you, Cas.” They return to quietly enjoying their coffee for a few minutes before Mary speaks again. “You do care about them. I can tell.”

“Yes,” Castiel says, no hesitation. “Sam and Dean are the only family I’ve ever had. We’ve been through,” he pauses, thinking. Mary doesn’t know his full story, not yet. She doesn’t know about him rejecting heaven for the Winchesters and fighting by their side in a war where the odds were so heavily against them that it seemed hopeless. Or that Castiel wanted to give up, and he might have if it wasn’t for her boys. She doesn’t know about his fall from grace. How he fell for Dean in every way imaginable. She doesn’t know about how much he has hurt Dean, or his quest for redemption. The quest he still sometimes feels he’s still on. She doesn’t know about how much Dean has shaped him. “We’ve been through so much together,” he concludes. It’s a simplification, but a true one. 

“Dean has told me some of it,” Mary says, “all that you’ve done for him. And Sam.” Her eyes are soft now. He’s seen this look on Dean’s face before as well. The sincerity behind them makes Castiel’s heart ache. “When Dean was young,” she continues, “I would tell him, 'Angels are watching over you.' I’m not sure if I was telling him for his benefit or mine. After what I’d seen growing up, after losing my parents, I wanted to believe. I had to believe that there was someone up there watching out for him.” She looks up at him and meets his eye and sets down her mug. Reaching across the space between them she takes his hands in hers. “Thank you for being there.” 

Castiel’s chest is tight and his throat feels closed. He can’t find the words to tell her how much it means. How much it means that she accepts him into her family. He can’t find the words, so he squeezes her hands instead. The soft smile she gives Castiel is a miracle. He’s grateful she’s here. Grateful she can see the man her son has become. The man Cas loves. He hopes she can find the beautiful similarities he’s seen between mother and child.

She squeezed his hand and pulls away. She gives Castiel another smile and stands to leave. But in doing so she accidentally knocks her mug over, sending coffee across the table and splashing onto the floor. “Oh, son of a bitch!” she curses and Castiel can’t help but laugh. Oh yeah, she’s definitely Dean’s mother.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading 
> 
> i'm mishackles on tumblr 
> 
> [reblogable link ](http://mishackles.tumblr.com/tagged/my-writing)
> 
> title from Hey Jude but the Beatles


End file.
